he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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