Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
