You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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