There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
