Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
