He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
