kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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