I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
