Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
