There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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