"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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