Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
