do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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