weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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