Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
