When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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