I feel great
I just peed on a car
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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