Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've blown a few things in my day
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
