have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
