It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Houston, we have a blender
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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