I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
