so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
They are going to name an STD after you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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