i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
