I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
