Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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