i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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