doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize