dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
