She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize