I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
