My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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