can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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