So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
only if we run a train.
done.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
