You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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