the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
