I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
