I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If that was your dad, he is hot
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
