I heard we made out
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
bring money and cleavage
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
