I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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