Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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