dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
