yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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