hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
