just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize