i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
