Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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