he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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