My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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