So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
