I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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