smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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