im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
