When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize