Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
