I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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