i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
