There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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