hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
