dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
