if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
