i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
