Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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