Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
