dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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