He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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